Memorable Medical Quotations

These will make more sense with every passing Clinical Year in Med School (Doctors! Have a sense of Humor, and don't take yourself too seriously)

Primum non nocere (firstly cause no harm)
Surgeon: A chance to cut is a chance to cure. (A chance to cut is a chance to kill)
Surgeon: All bleeding eventually stops
Surgeon: Don't let the skin stand between you and the diagnoses
Surgeon: A very bold surgeon is the one who realizes that his patient takes all the risks
Surgeon: Surgery, like making love must be done gently with adequate exposure
Surgeon: It takes five years to learn when to operate and twenty years to learn when not to.
Surgeon: There are only three rules to life: Eat when you can, sleep when you can, and don't screw with the pancreas.
Surgeon: Don't look for things that you don't want to find.
Surgeon: The only bad thing about being on call every other night is that you miss half of the educational opportunities.
Surgeon: When in doubt, blame anesthesia (or an anesthesiologist!)
Surgeon: One CT scan is worth a thousand neurologists.
Surgeon: One thoracotomy is worth a thousand X-rays
Surgeon: It is better to be lucky than good
Surgeon: The lesser the indication the greater the complication
Surgeon: If it ain't broke, don't fix it
Surgeon: A patient is never to sick for a life saving procedure
Surgeon: Measure thrice, think twice, cut once.
Surgery: Surgery is to be done, not to have
Ask any surgeon-Q- What is the definition of "shifting dullness" ? A- Rounds in Internal Medicine
Anesthesiologist: BBB (Blood, brain barrier)- The screen between the anesthesiologist and the surgeon
Orthopedic Surgeon: If you can't pin it or cast it- than screw it
Internist: You can never use too much KY jelly.
Internist: Don't ever get sick in August.
Internist: Dermatology is the only specialty in medicine where there are 200 diseases and only three types of cream to treat them.
Internist: Corticosteroids are the refuge of the therapeutically destitute.
Internist: Never pull a tube at night
Peds: Never trust a naked baby
Peds: Never examine a kid who is wearing cowboy boots
Medical Student: Surgery is 70% scut work, 20% boredom, and 10% learning.
Medical Student: How many cardiothoracic surgeons does it take to screw in a light bulb? One--he just holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him.
Medical Student: What do you call two orthopedic surgeons reading an EKG? A double-blind study.
Medical Student: The only thing I learned during my surgery clerkship is that I am never going to have "elective" surgery
Some doctors seem to think that M.D. actually stands for Minor Deity.
Medical Student: The only difference between psychiatrists and their patients is that the patients have a chance of getting better.
Medical Student: Five years after you finish Med school, everything you were taught will be wrong; but if you wait an additional five years it will be right again
Medical Student: On ROUNDS- It's better to be quiet and let them think your stupid; than to speak and let them know it
Radiologist: The hedge is the radiologist's favorite bush.
Radiologist: Try to avoid using the word "lunch hour." I prefer the term "lunch break" so I don't limit myself.
Radiologist: The two underlying principles of dermatology: if it is wet then dry it, if it is dry then wet it.
Radiologist: How do you hide a dollar bill from an orthopedic surgeon? Put it in the chart. How do you hide a dollar bill from a radiologist? Put in on the patient. How do you hid a dollar bill from an internist? You can't.
General: Better to high than to low- applies to Blood pressure, Sugar and a tracheotomy
General:The three things you can lose by working to hard- Your nature, Your wife and your hair!
General: halitosis is better than no breath at all.
G.P. One who knows less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.
General- Internists know everything and do nothing , Surgeons know nothing and do everything , Dermatologists know nothing and do nothing , Pathologists know everything and do everything- but a day too late.

If you know any other "pearls" send them to David Goldenberg M.D.